Stressed.

I was supposed to be studying now.

But I'm all stressed out.

Shits happened yesterday. She was hurt, I was hurt and he was hurt.

I knew myself that I can't handle it all by my own.

I need help, there's SOS signal blinking from my heart.

I keep asking myself;

Did I just screw up my life? Is she ever going to look at me seriously again? How did that actually happened?

Everything came too fast, I didn't have time to react.

It just brushed me out from my almost-prefect life.

Yea, almost-prefect. And I, was one of the very few things which isn't prefect. No matter how difficult they were trying to mould me, I just didn't or perhaps couldn't turn out to be their prefect doll.

Words still running in my mind.

She was right about everything. I was wrong in all sorts.

But throughout years, I've tried so hard to be what you wanted me to be. But I guess, you didn't look at me in the present.

You spilled the words, "do not talk to me about the present, I'm talking about what have you done in the past."

I always thought, what done is done. Who has no mistakes except God?

Don't everyone deserve a 2nd chance, or perhaps 3rd and 4th just to fix things up?

You didn't even allow me to explain myself. Perhaps you don't even care if I've already changed to be a better person.

You would rather listen to non-related people than someone who's related to the issue.

You think they knew better when they know nothing.

You think I only listen to my friends but how many time I made decisions because of you. But you'll never understand.

You mentioned this girl who broke our friendship apart.

You told me why did she do that, and reasons she told you.

You blamed it on me because to you, I am already the bad one.

But do you know, rational people thinks that her reasons sound like a jealous friend. I assumed it too.

I don't need a friend like that.

Let me tell you, a sincere friend will accept who you are no matter what happens. And, only listens from you to find out what's going on with you. A sincere friend tells you your mistakes, instead of hurting you behind your back.

A friend with a two-face personality? Befriend with me & made me believed that she's the one who knew me best; and hit me hard on the back. You should be glad that she's not my friend anymore.

Adults, they don't listen to the children simply because they are "adults". They think what we say are not relevant. Or perhaps we don't have the right to speak up for ourselves? Often times they think they know better, but how many times they were wrong but they didn't want to admit it.

I just wonder, if someday somehow, she'll listen to my properly. Takes me seriously. Sees me as who I am, instead of seeing me through others. This will be my prayer.

Now I shall go back to my notes, before I screw up exams tomorrow.

I still need to prove that the money you spent on me for my studies is all worth it.